you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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