I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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