I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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