pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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