yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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