i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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