yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
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I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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