I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize