I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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