You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
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