I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
