As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
