I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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