Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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