i love accidental penises.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
