i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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