if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
