She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hippo gnu deer
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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