just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
