Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm bleeding and have questions
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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