i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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