Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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