Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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