well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
