I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
