Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
