Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
