the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
