Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Houston, we have a blender
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
