it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
