I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
