Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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