jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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