So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
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She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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