Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
