do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
