the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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