i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
