Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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