Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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