Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
