He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
