I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
