I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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