Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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