so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im holly from the hills drunk
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
