I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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