Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize