Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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