Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
