At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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