Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
