VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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