PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
