She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
