It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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