I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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